2018’ a chance to make things right again....

After witnessing a beautiful, miraculous sunrise this morning and having breakfast with a dear friend I could think of nothing better then to write on my blog to start 2018. 2017 was a rough year, my mom being sick , and declining in health. I, being unemployed for several months and relying on the kindness of friends and family. It was a tough, humbling year.

But here I am at the beginning of this year. I dedicated  this year to seeking and following God’s Will in my life. This past December I got a job that I am happy with. And mom’s health stopped deteriorating as fast. I am hopeful that only good things will follow this year. I trust that Jesus will improve my mom’s health so that her quality of life improves and if He doesn’t them I am hopeful that I will be given the strength to at least cope and accept the progress of aging.

Again, I look forward to a year where I can start to eat right again. Where I have the time to exercise and get myself in shape. I trust that with God’s help I will be able to achieve those goals. I hope to continue writing the book I started last year. That I will be able to do something new and that I get to travel and spend time with friends and family,

I don’t set my goals to high and I am more accepting of my failures and willing to try to be successful in my life this year. And one other thing I hope to do more blog entries. To those that I have not seen in a while, I miss you. I will finish with a Facebook entry I did.


I'm Going into 2018 peacefully so:
1. If you owe me, don't worry about it!!!
2. If you wronged me, it's all good!!!
3. If you're beefing with me, you win!!!
4. If we aren't speaking, it's cool. Be safe and I still wish you well!!!
5. If you feel I wronged you, I apologize!!!

Life is too short for all this Extra unnecessary drama!!! No one is promised tomorrow, and I'm focused on my future!!! So Live, Laugh, Love, Let Go and continue pressing forward!!!
I will not go into a new year full of possibilities with any negativity, instead
I bless you with love and peace to fill your heart and joy to fill your days!
Much Love And  May God bless you.
Have a Happier New Year!

Ok, another new start? But isn't that what each new day brings?

The alarm clock rang at 530 am this morning. I turned and thought about turning it off, but I had made a commitment to myself that I would go to the beach. I dragged myself out the door and I headed to South Park to see the sunrise. A couple passing showers on the way brought doubts into my plan, but I continued.

I made it to the Bach and parked and still no sunrise. I met some friends , and walked with them, but the sunrise was not not happening. I left my friends and headed back towards my car when the sun peaked out of the horizon. It was beautiful. I kept seeing people I knew. I kept taking pictures . As I walked  I thought how I had missed the mornings that I would get up to just do the same thing for so many years. On the way back I ran into Mario , this man I know from the beach for so many years. He always shakes my hand with his left hand, his right is always in his pocket. After speaking to me and catching up he pulls out his hand and he is holding a rosary I made for him many years ago. What a surprise and a blessing that not only has he touched my life but I touched his life also. The people I ran into today we're all reminders of how we are all connected. No one comes into my life without a purpose and I am thankful to I sometimes get to find out that purpose before they leave me.

I was reminded to not be so hard on myself . To enjoy the journey . That there is always tomorrow or start anew of a mess up today. But the most important thing that I felt in my heart that yes it possible to reach one's goals no matter had difficult it might seem. Each day can be magical, but I have to see the magic and be part of the magic too.

Is it too early to,worry ?

I could not believe that I had not posted anything this year yet. I was so faithful in posting my thoughts. Not that I thought many would see them but that I had them recorded for future reference. Again, I feel I am in a slump. My resolve to eat a healthy lifestyle has twinkled, and I know I want to get back to it  but it is just harder then I anticipated . This morning I made plans to get up early and see the sunrise on the beach and do some miles, but I slept in. I just feel I am drifting with no place or goal to aim for.

My job is sufficiently stable and my mom is relatively  healthy but I see her slowly deteriorating and so I worry that I won't be able to take care of her as I should. I worry, I eat. I am also having one of those milestone birthdays in a few months and I worry that I can't do the things I use to do before. I know it is easier to say that God will take care of everything ., but still easier said then done. As I wrapped my head around leaving a a leaner lifestyle and making some changes in my life, I started to do something I had thought about but had never seriously done it. I started to write a book, is it fiction, nonfiction. I don't know , I know that I just write a s write . At the end I will figure what spin I will put on it. Or even if it is worth publishing. I am also developing some short term goals and long term goals. Moreno that at a later date.

I have enjoyed my blogs and they have proven useful,not on,t to me but to others as well. Let me know if you enjoy them, hopefully with your feedback I can write about topics that are not only relevant to me but also interesting to a wider reader base. Keep me in your prayers as I keep you in me. And have a very Happy , Safe 4 the of July!

Coming into a routine...

Ok, so the excitement of losing a substantial amount of weight and the new way of eating is quickly losing its charm. I only lost one pound this week, and I have fallen into a routine of eating, so it is not as exciting anymore. Not that I am going back to eating that e way I used to, because I keep finding new recipes to try, and keep making new palates to alleviate or eliminate any cravings I might have for my old lifestyle.

My exercise and training have also fallen into the same routine. I walk at least 5 times a week. Yesterday I did the Color Run which is 3.1 miles, but Shari and I kept going back and forth with the groups we were in and so it turned out the I did over 4 miles in the race. Also I went out today and did 4.12 miles at a faster pace. I also went out after 8:30 am so that I start getting use to the heat of summer here in Florida. Psychologically have to start getting ready, you know how I hate heat and humity as I train.

I have decided that instead of walking in the evening when I am tired, I am going to start getting up earlier on work days and exercising the 30-40 minutes before work. That way I will be fresh and hopefully will go faster. I will let you know next week how this changed worked, or if it happened at all.

During the next couple of weeks, I hope to share how eating paleo has changed my eating habits and maybe this will ncourage you to look at it and possibly try it. One thing I can say that for sure it will make you feel better, no matter how healthy you think you are eating now.

Continue to live the best that you can, and until we meet again, keep smiling and enjoying life.

Labs, Doctor and training...

As I hinted before, I was going to the doctor last Friday. I had labs drawn a week before and so I knew that my blood levels were significantly better then a year ago. My AC1 which measure diabetes was 8.5 last year, full blown diabetes. This year it was 5.7, only a point away for normal and so I was minimally pre diabetic. My blood sugar went from 200 to 90. My triglycerides went from over 200 to 98. My cholesterol was better , although good cholesterol is still low. My liver enzymes are normal now. So overall improvement.

Bottom line, my doctor was pleased not only with weight loss but with the overall improvement in blood work. He took off one of my blood pressure medications, by he way that has gone down too. And cut my diabetic medications in half. Why not cut them off completely? I was wondering that e same thing, but with my history of yo young on weight loss, he thought it be best to see how I am six months from now. I can deal with that because , like I told him , this time I am not going back to the old lifestyle.  See if I try eating the wrong foods now, my body does not react well to it so I know what I have done. That never happened before.

So yesterday, 4/16/16 I  started my trading for NYC marathon with the blessing form you doctor too. I did 3.64 miles and today I did 4.12 miles at a 15:13 pace. Pretty good for just starting off. I plan to used Jeff Galloway's setup,until FIT starts again in May , I am returning as an assistant coach to the Ft Lauderdale group. I am looking forward to it.

Well enough of the technical stuff, hopefully next blog installments will be more philosophical and introspective. I look forward to sharing my journey with you. Stay tuned, I will write again at least weekly. Enjoy and smile....

Sometimes, it is better to wipe the slate clean....

I know it has been awhile, since I wrote anything here. I guess I was to a point that I did not think I had anything worthwhile to write. Well not that I think that many things have changed, but I know it is time to get back to it again. Like my title says, sometimes it is better to wipe the slate clean and start again. I have learned though, that although that is possible in my spiritual life because of the love, forgiveness and mercy of God, it is better to look black and learn from my mistakes in my personal life; and then move forward.

The last year and a half of my life have been filled with turmoil, challenges, heart breaks and many blessings indeed. About a year ago, I was unemployed , in a deaconate program that only caused me uneasiness and anxiety. And I had regained the weight I had, had such a hard time to lose. Because of everything I had stopped training and even walking. I had no time for anything. It has been a year now that, I got a great job, which makes me happy to go to everyday, and last November I left the deaconate program which also lessen my anxiety and brought me to a better emotional and spiritual state. Let's just say that it was not the right "fit" for me.

I was still fat, unhealthy and not thinking that I would be able to walk much anymore. Well that was until the end of the year, when I saw Marcela was looking for a new coaching team in Coral Springs training for a half marathon in March. I started at the beginning of January to train in Coral Springs. I was still overweight, but I had started to live and eat the paleo lifestyle. Well I faithfully trained not for speed but for endurance. I did finish the training and completed the half marathon. That was my new start, the time for that race was my new PR, because anything I did years ago really doesn't count right now. During the process, I signed up for the NYC marathon lottery, and guess what I got in.

So your guess is right, now start my blogs on my training for this marathon in November. I am 45 pounds lighter then I was in January and a lot healthier and happier. There will be another post soon as I start my training and my visit to the doctor to tell me how healthy or not that I am.

Hope to see you here soon.....

2013??? Well, Happy New Year!!

Can you believe it, it has been a year since I was sitting here discussing my goals and resolutions for 2012.  Has the year seemed to go faster then I would have liked or expected?  It seems my folks were right when they said that as I grew older time would seem to go by faster.  Well, it was just a day ago when I wrote about my shortcomings and accomplishments in 2012 , so I won't bored you with that again.

Today I want to concentrate on what I will be doing to become a better person in 2013.  2013 holds a lot of hope for me, but then on the first day of each new year the hope is the same.  I have a clean slate to continue to draw the picture of my life.  As I pondered this during the night I came across this very thought provoking meditation.. So I decided to write it our for all of you too.  You might have seen it before, but I think it is definitely worth another look, especially at this moment in time.

My Name is I AM.

I was regretting the past, and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking: "My name is I Am".
He paused. I waited. He continued.
"When you live in the past,with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WAS.
When you live in the future, with its problems and fears,it is hard. I am not there.
My name is not I WILL BE.
When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here.
My name is I AM.

So you see anything I write after that is pointless.  I do want to be healthier, wiser and holier.  The specifics I am going to have to leave it up to HIM.  My first aim is to be holy. I know that from there I will be healthier because I will not continue to abuse my body because I will come to value it as the holy temple it was meant to be.  I will be given the wisdom so that I can serve God in better ways this year.

One thing I will try to be is a better brother and uncle.  Through God's compassion,mercy and love I reconciled with my brother and his family at Christmas.  I was able to visit with my twin nieces after 4 years of being absent in their lives. I could never have gotten a better Christmas present.

What can you take from this?  Nothing is impossible for God. Continue to seek His Will in all you do. I am grateful that you are part of journey.  I pray for a very healthy and love filled NEW YEAR for you and those you love.
Buen Camino.

Seven months and counting....

Can you believe it is over 7 months that I have written any thing on the blog. Not that I have been too busy or had nothing to say, it is just that I got out of habit in taking time to write. As I was driving to a friend's yesterday I found myself thinking of the past year and thought to myself , wow I really haven't done much. Not that it made me sad but I thought I could have done more with the time God gave me . I said to myself ok , there is always next year. That is until I got to my friend's and shared with him my thoughts , of how I felt that I had failed somehow. He quickly reminded me on the few things I had shared with him. I continued my activities at church. I was back up for this very cool group , and even traveled to Atlanta as part of the ministry. I served as altar server and lector for all the home Dolphin Masses . I made hundreds of Dolphin rosaries. Thanks to my friend, Barb, I incorporated a non profit corporation called Prayer Warrior Rosaries. I got to spend my 55th birthday with my mom at Disney and I truly feel that I am closer to God.

Not to shabby for someone that thought he was short for this year. This night always causes me apprehension for some reason. Guess it goes back to me not liking change. Well the night will pass and morrow you can expect my thoughts on 2013. Well God willing. Happy Old Year!

STAND UP....or stay seatted.....

I can't believe that it has been over two months since I wrote on here.  It is not that I have nothing to say, because you know me I always have something to say,  That is one of the things I am working on , keeping my mouth shut more often then not.

I little update on my last blog, I did start battling my demons, one being of my bad eating habits and I am happy to say that I at the present am winning that battle.  I have started to lose weight, the exciting thing is that it is enough that people are starting to notice.  In other areas I am also doing better, and I really have to say that it is because of a deeper prayer life, examining my conscious more frequently, and having a greater reliance and trust that God really is in control.

Day to day I walk ,sometimes forward , a few times it seems backwards.  The important thing is that I stand up and act on my belief.  Guess that is what I am learning these days. We all have choices, we can act and do something or we can just stay sitting down.  We can stand and possibly rock the boat or we can sit out of fear or apathy and do nothing.  Really we can all apply this in our lives.  You just have to look inside and see where you are at.  I try to do this daily and then from that point I can take action.

I saw a movie called "For Greater Glory", made me think what would I do, how far would I go to stand up for what I believed in my heart to be true.  I hope I am never put to the test but I pray that if I am that I might stand up not fearing any of the consequences.

I am revisiting some earlier goals.  I continue to write my book although it seems to be evolving into a different story; but isn't that how life is anyways.  I continue to deepen my relationship with God, I feel that He leads me into deeper waters where I will have stay focused on Him.  Again, I feel that I am reaching crossroads where I will have to choose between different paths.  Although exciting, as you know, don't handle change so well at times.

I know I have not said much of anything today.  To you who reads this, I can tell you that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.  You are in my life for a reason, and I thank God for that.  As I continue on, I hope that you will share in my adventure and excitement for the journey.

And as I have ended these blogs, many time before.  Buen Camino.

We all can learn from the Ressurection..."

Jesus Christ is Risen!!!!  Boy, am I glad that this Lent is over with.  It has been a difficult time because in my penitential observes, I gave up the Internet, mass media and all types of meat.  The Internet although hard at first, led me to realize that I , myself , am too dependent on it. I learned that I could just call someone if I needed to know or communicate something , or even text them and get an immediate response. Although, I was not aware who won the Oscars, or who is on Dancing with the Stars, or even following American Idol, I still survived. When it was raining I knew to carry an umbrella, and if windy a wind breaker jacket.  I appreciated the ability of reading a book, and using my imagination to bring me into a pious person's life or carry myself to imaginary places. I continued to be reminded that to be a 'man', I had to let go and not try to control my life as much.  I was happier, because I was not watching the news, I did not worry if we were heading to another war, or if the economy was better or not.  I especially did not miss hearing about the politics and presidential races.

When it came to food, I had a difficult time.  I could not believe how much meat is in our everyday life.  Any time you go out, there is meat in all of our usual eating options.  Although, I was able to stay away from it, I realized that I substituted a lot more sweets  and carbohydrates for the lack of protein.  I learned that in myself, I have to be moderate in all things or else I can go overboard; even if I am doing a good thing.

When I try to control my life, I see at times how out of control my life is.  I tried battling my demons this lent, and although I am happy to say that some I battled and controlled,unfortunately. I realized how controlled I was by others.  I came to realize  that I am a food addict. Sweets, carbohydrates, all things that are bad for me, I have no control over.  So, I, now realizing this;can ,with the help of the Risen Savior conquer this too.  I have asked my friends and family to help me with this.  Do not offer me anything, even if you think it is healthy, that might tempt me and lead me astray.  As an alcoholic can not enter a bar, I now know that I can not enter a candy store.

This is not meant to be a depressing admission.  It is a liberating fact, when you know your weakness, accept it, that is when God can use you to make you a strong warrior. I am now, once again , armed and ready for battle. As I prayed this week, I thought of what if Jesus in His weakness had said no to the cross; we would be in a real pickle right now. So I say , yes to God and no to all that leads me away from His Will.

You know the Monday after the Resurrection must have been a real bad day for the devil.  After boosting for days on how he had won, he had to face his defeat.  I have heard it said that it is like a April Fool's Day for the devil, the joke and defeat are on him.

Celebrate this beautiful time with family , laughter and love.

Happy Easter!!!!!

Here we are, entering 2012...is it the beginning of the end?

This morning after quietly welcoming 2012, I went for a walk as I awaited the new dawn of the year, and then impatiently waited for the first sunrise of 2012.  I have been doing this since 2000 and so this was the 13th time that I awoke early and headed to the beach or to a field( where ever I am) to see the first dawn of the year. This year, again, it was spectacular. What a great way to contemplate the accomplishments and failures of the past year as I speedily walk for 4 to 6 miles.  I take time to see where I have accomplished my goals and where I might have fallen short.  This past year, 2011, was a great year.  I had growth in my personal life taking some great trips, in particular as I walked the last 97 miles of the way in Spain of St James.  Spiritually I grew also.  I realized that with God all things are possible as I helped plan and guide an Emmaus retreat in my parish. I came to be more understanding and compassionate to other's plight. In my training I lost a lot of weight, put some of it back, but I completed a full marathon and several half marathons, and even completed my first sprint duathlon.Professionally I kept my job , and am relatively happy at it. What failings did I face?  All dealt with times when I thought I could do it on my own.  When I forgot that I was a creature and thought of myself more a creator.  When I shied away from my total dependence on God.

So what to expect in 2012? What goals or even resolutions have I laid out? They are relatively simple.  I want to be a more patient person. I want to be a more giving person. I want to live my vocation in life to the best of my abilities. I will explore how to train and become a spiritual director or adviser. I will lose the weight that I have put back on, how am I going to do it?  To finally admit that I have an addiction to food, and treat it as that and work with that fact. I have once again joined the 100 day challenge, through John Bingham's Facebook page, and have comitted to being at least 30 minutes physically active for 100 consecutive days, and possibly continue from there to an even longer period. I will train, but not as rigid a schedule as I have done in the past.  I will enjoy the process instead of just looking at the end result.  I want to do the New York Marathon. I will perfect my swimming and become better at completing triathlons not just duathlons.I will improve my relationship with my God and in the process improve my other relationships in my life.I will laugh more and stress less.

I am committed to this this year.  I would hope that others as they read this will also committed to strive to better themselves this year.  If you need an accountability partner or someone to support you, let me know. I wish the best life has got to offer.  This year don't let the hype of the world coming to an end distract you. Live your life as if it really is, enjoy it, and live it the fullest.  If it does end then you will have no regrets. And as I am sure it will not end as predicted then you can awake and see the first sunrise of 2013 contemplating your successes and all the adventures that you lived in 2012.

Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

He is born, even to me.....

I know that it has been a long time since I wrote, not that I had nothing to say; but just that I needed to find exactly how to say it. As I prepared for Christmas, as I went through Advent, I kept thinking that this Christmas I wanted it to be different.  First, I decided it was not going to be a commercial event like I have done in other years. How to scale down in my gift giving without my family and friends thinking that I was just cheap.
I, also, wanted it to be different in my heart.  To allow Jesus, the babe of Bethlehem, to be manifested in a new and different way in my life. So I prayed. I prayed that I wanted to change.  You see if you have followed this blog at all, you might surmised that I have a lot of flaws.  So I prayed that I could get rid of all or at least some of these flaws by Christmas. I know God can do all things, even the impossible, so why not make me what I wanted to be, a better person one that would fall into sin less quickly and get out of it far more quickly.  I prayed and I prayed.  I knew that things could and would be different.
And then it happened. On December 23 as I knelt in prayer at St Gregory's, as I admired how beautiful the church looked for Christmas, as I contemplated our manger and saw the only thing missing was the Christ-child.  I heard the voice in my heart. 'Why do you continue to pray as you if you were flawed? Do you not remember that you are created in My image? I do not create anything that is flawed, you are exactly as I want you to be.'
Mind blowing, isn't it? I now understand that some of the things I wanted to get rid of, are the things that make me realized how dependant I truly am on God. I am no better then St Paul that prayed that the thorn on 'his side' might be taken away. My thorn or thorns are part of me. When I battle "my demons"( as society tends to call it now) I realize that through the power and grace of God I will win the battle.
I now realize that I don't necessarily need a physical, mental change; I just need to fight the battle and arm myself with the right spiritual change.
Yes, more is coming....The new year starts tomorrow so a new blog.

Happy New Year!!!

"Go into deeper waters..."

For those that have been following me for a while, you know that I have my ups and downs; my moments of total clarity of where I am suppose to be going and most of the time feeling that I am drifting without direction and possibly heading towards certain disaster.

Since my trip to Spain, I feel more focused and know that God is leading me, I just have to be obedient and follow. Well that is evident in all parts of my life, even the physical and that is the one that I have the most difficulty in accepting at times because that is where I am challenged the most.

Well you know I trained for a marathon and then several and a whole bunch of half marathons> I lost a substantial amount of weight and then gained some of it back. But I knew that I was on the right path. I have to digress though. Five years ago when I started training for the first marathon, I never thought I would consider myself a marathoner, but I am. Well just last year when some friends, Debbie and Terry, started doing triathlons, I thought how cool is that. But they are better trained, a lot younger and better risk takers than I am. I do have a mountain bike though, one that had sat with its tires deflated for the last 2 years in my entry way. I would think I will try riding my bike, see how it feels after so many years. Well about 3 or 4 weeks ago, I decided to put air in the tires and went out for a ride. It felt good, so what do I do ? I decide to look into a duathlon race. I find one on Labor Day weekend locally so I decide to train for it.

Well train for it the best I could without having any real direction. My only direction and certainty was that if God allowed me to sign up and start it He would get me through it. So I went out, rode my bike, several times and even rode the 10 miles I knew the race would be. I was tired, I could not take a step after getting off the bike. Well 2 weeks ago I signed up for the race. Last week I ran some during my training during the week with Nancy. Boy was I under trained.

Finally couple days before the race , I told a few people that I was doing it. Also a priest in his sermon talked about how Jesus always called his disciples to go into deeper waters, to drop their nets in places where they were not accustomed to fish and how the catch was bigger then they ever hoped for. One of my revelational moments, this was 'my going into the deep' moment. I had to trust and fully experienced it.

I woke up the morning of the race, sweating and fearful and as I rolled over in bed, I thouhgt if I had not told a few people that I was going to do this , I could easily stay in bed a few more hours. I did get dressed and went into uncharted territories, I had a bike, that I was not sure what to do with and a lot of unanswered questions and doubts. Just before I started Debbie and Terry spotted me in the crowd. Really they are good friends, but yesterday God used them as guideposts in this unchartered moment of my life. The race started and they encouraged me at the crutical times, at the begining and end of my first run. Through transition and several times during the part of the bicycle race. When I got off the bike after 10 miles and I thought I could not take another step, they were there yelling encouragements at me, I was 2/3 done with the race. As I continued one step in front of the other, I came to finally realize that yes all things are possible because God is the one providing my strength. I saw them at the end of the first loop in the 3 miles route and Debbie said it was official I would be a duathlete by the end of the race. I did finish it and as I looked at my numbers, I saw that I did really good considering it was my first one.

More importantl was that although I was really racing against myself, it was one of the best experiences that I have had. I got a couple comments of people telling me, wow you have a big smile on your face. Today when I saw the official race pictures, I saw that I did have a big smile on my face. Just goes to show you that all things are possible, you just have to trust and you really have to accept the help and encouragement of the people that God puts in your life.

I know I could have done the race with out Debbie and Terry being there or without the calls from Barbara or Nancy; but I am thankful that each of them played a part to get me to the finish line. Thanks, you all have a special place in my heart.

Oh by the way, that was not my last race, thanks guys.....

Procrastinator? Or maybe I just don't like change...

On the feast of Santiago, as I prayed I realized that there was no better day to release this blog then today. The picture I took on the beach, and as I pondered on it realized that sometimes we see God and the beauy in our lives as we go through the storms in our lives. So hang on and see the beauty in the storm.

At times in my life, I hesitate and don't jump into situations that, although good for me, require change in my life. Wow, that was a vague statement and not even one that made much sense. I could talk generalities here and confuse you and even myself or I could be specific and possibly scare you and specifically myself. I have decided to speak specifics.

In my trek through northern Spain, I felt that God was saying many things to me ,some I have shared, and some that I even now, hold in my heart and ponder their meaning. One of the things that I shared, at least I think I shared, was the feeling that I would return to Spain and live there and even live there long enough to die there. Mind you, not a morbid thought, just one that I felt deeply in my heart as I walked. So I came back and said ok many years from now , this will happen and I will go. As the weeks have passed, I keep thinking why is it that it should happen many years in the future. None of us are guaranteed a certain time here, so why not act like it is just to be in the future and not so far away. I have started to pray, to contemplate and to think about a move. A move to Spain, a move into the unknown. I am not going to take a blind leap, but I have started my investigation of all that it entails to make that move.

The funny part is that I am at peace with this decision. There are many unknowns still in the equation, many questions unanswered. But I feel that the message coming from God is, He will show me the way, He will provide the answers. Ok I may not be leaving right away, or it might be sooner that I expected. But I know that I have continued the path, the walk that I started in Spain. I am scared because I don't like change, I am excited because I know that I am not alone. You will be with me , in my thoughts in my prayers. If you thought the blogs have been interesting, just imagine when I start writing about my adventures in Spain. And by then they will be bilingual. Ok lets not get carried away. I have not started packing, I have just started to think about what I should throw away. It is funny even my mom out of the blue says, you know if I go to Spain, I might not want to come back....that would eliminate a big obstacle to the move. You know this blog is not done with, so to be continued......

Buen Camino.

Honesty.....really?

I know it has been a while since I wrote but, not that it is an excuse, life sometimes gets in the way. It has now been several months since my trip to Spain, but it still seems to be playing a part in my life and daily decisions that I make. One of the things that I wrote that I had learned or was trying to incorporate into my life was, that I wanted to be an honest man.

I was going to look back to see if I had written about in detail, but since I enjoy the story, and I feel that every time I think of it I get something out of it. I will retell it here. On the sixth or seventh day of our walk, we had reached like a fork on the path. To the left it was clearly marked, up ahead it was not as clear; but this group of kids we had been following were on that path. I stood there trying to decide, what to do, which way to go. As I am standing there, I see one of the adults that was with the kids coming towards us. He says to follow them , that this is a straighter path, that the one to the left curves and makes us cross the highway up ahead. So I thank him and start to walk with him towards the kids on this new path. We are walking and I find out he is one of their teachers. As we walk we keep seeing these fields of a planted crop on either sides of the path. I ask what it is, he tells me he has no idea. The kids are giving me their thoughts on what it could be. So I say in my sarcastic tone, what type of a teacher are you? You don't know what your national crop is? I tell him , if you came to America and you were walking with me,even if I didn't know exactly what it was I would make something up. I would tell you what it was even if I didn't know for sure. His response, I consider myself An Honest Man.

Just think I my ego deflated at that moment. As I still think of it, I justified my response,that Americans exaggerate or blatantly lie when not wanted to face the truth or when we don't want to hurt some one's feelings, a white lie, or if we don't want to face or ignorance on a specific subject. I labeled it Americans, but maybe it was me that was insecure or just a liar.

We parted ways that day and the next day we saw him, now dubbed the honest teacher, and his group of kids as they walked. We chatted and they said they would see us in Santiago. We kept on walking but that honesty issue stayed in the back of my mind. When we got to Santiago, we did see everyone, everyone except that honest teacher. On our last day there, we went to the pilgrim's Mass and I sat in the second row, well I see these teenagers being brought around the altar and I am thinking why can they get up close and here we are further back. The Mass starts and as the priests process in , one of them is the honest teacher. i was blown away, not only was he a honest man, he was a honest priest. I felt foolish with the comments I had made, but wanted to see him after Mass. I tracked him down , and of course he remembered me, the guy that had said all Americans were liars. I gave him the last rosary I had and told him that I would email him so I could send rosaries to the kids. We had exchanged emails, but I thought sure never talk to him again. I did write him weeks after and made the promise of the rosaries again. He now said that he was going to take a group of kids to the World Youth Day in Madrid where there would be an encounter with the Pope. He wanted 50 rosaries. I am happy to say that rosaries were made and delivered to his parish in Spain.

At least this once I was honest, I did keep my word. So if in your dealings with me I might say something upsets you or might seem off, please excuse me my filters are still not completely in place, I might try to be more honest, but still don't know when to just keep my mouth shut.The pictures are of the priest and his group that will travel to see the Pope. And yes I am also trying to be an honest man.

Peace, and Buen Camino.

STOP(or at least slow down) and smell the roses..

I can not believe it,it has been 2 months since I started el camino in Spain. What I had planned, prayed and thought about for a whole year,is back in my personal history. Have I started to forget what I experienced, what I had learned during that very special time? I came home vowing to continue to live in the presence of God, seeking His Will in my life; but the realities of work, of the business of life started to in cringed and erode that peace within my being.

So now I take time to explore, to rethink , to rediscover what was special during that journey. First, I have to once again seek the quietness in my heart , to be able to listen to God whispering to me. Second, I have to recommit to actively searching for the good in every circumstance I am faced with. Third, I have to find the extraordinary in even the most ordinary things in my life.

I made the commitment to myself as I left Santiago that that was really the start of the true spiritual journey that I was on. And so I reaffirm that in my life today, as I walk through this part of my life I want to seek and feel the presence of God in my everyday life. I strive to my that honest man I spoke about and so I will continue to do the battle with the dragons in my life.

I am once,again, reminded that the adventure is only now starting , it is with great expectations that I stop or at least slow down and experience life to the fullest. Live in peace,live in joy. Buen camino, my fellow pelegrino.

Recap? Maybe it just the beginning....

It is almost 48 hours since I got back home, and approximately 72 hours since I finished el camino by entering the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela. If I closed my eyes and open my heart I am still overwhelmed by the feeling I felt at that moment. That last day on the trail was a very emotional day. We walked approximately 19 km from our room to the city. We passed the airport where the fence that kept on us on the path was covered with thousands of crosses made out of sticks ,rods, whatever the pilgrims had carried or found on the ground. We walked on and started the second climb of the day as we entered the Monte de Gozo, called that because it is the first place on el camino where the pelegrino could look and see the steeples of the cathedral far off in the distance. Now there is a monument built there in honor of Blessed Pope John Paul the Great and St Francis of Assisi. I was in tears as I neared that pinnacle thinking of what great men had walked this path before me, and here I was in the same place.

As I started to go down , I saw some gypsies to the side of the path and so I went to see what they were selling. To make a short story of a long encounter they made me a leather bracelet on the spot and a wired pilgrim to take with me through out my future travels. As I bid them goodbye, one of them says you have some time? or are you in a rush. My better instinct told me tell him you are rushed but I said no, we are not in a rush. So he told me to follow another path off the main one, and that it would lead me to 2 iron pilgrims, as I looked to where they looked I would be able to see the steeples of the church. And so I climbed even further, and reached the spot. I felt like I was the first pelegrino to have still the far off church. I said a prayer of thanksgiving and place one of my hand made rosaries on the huge statutes fingers.

And then we started to climb down. I entered the city and felt lost. There were signs , the shell was still on the pavement at times, but humanity was quicly approaching . I had entered an university city where everyone was in a rush. Here I was a pelegrino, with my stick in hand feeling lost and vulnerable. But I had seen the steeple, I knew I was going in the correct general direction. As we got closer to the church we entered the old city and the souvenir shops assaulted our senses. But we continued, turned into smaller passages, and the saw the side of the cathedral. I was here, as I started to get closer I heard bagpipes, there was someone actually playing the bagpipes outside when we walked by, and then I turned into the main plaza.

There it was before me , bigger then life, it encompassed all of my visual field. It was gigantic, I climbed the steps and entered into the coolness of the main church. It was dark, and it felt cold, but I was here. I had made it. With the help of Barbara and countless others on the path. With all of your prayers, I was here. Tears streamed down my face, I went to the altar, I said a prayer. I climbed the steps behind the altar where I could give Santiago the customary hug. I remember closing my eyes as I laid my face on his mantle and felt the cold of the silver and the hardness of the stones; and all I could think was THANK YOU. I climbed down and then went to the place where his crypt is. I knelt and there I prayed for a long time. I prayed for each one of you as well as for all those intentions I had carried in my heart during the last 9 days , over the past year. I got up went to the Blessed Sacrament Chapel and said a prayer of thanksgiving. I was done as a pilgrim, I had become a tourist now. I did get my Compostela, that is the certificate the church issues when you have completed at least 100 km of el camino.

What lessons did I learn or relearn? First, that for me, God speaks to me in the silence of my heart. I have to shut up to be able to listen to Him. Second, that I have to listen to His Words so I can walk the correct path for my life. Third, that I want to be an honest man. Fourth, that there are guideposts to help us along the path, that we are not to go off the path or we are liable to get hurt or lost. Fifth, that el camino has shells or arrows to guide the pelegrino, but in my life God is even more inventive on how He guides me.Sixth, that there is nothing that I should be afraid of,and seventh that I am very much loved by God and those around me.

You know I am back home, but some say that El Camino really starts when you leave Santaigo. I will be on this new path the rest of my life. I know that I will be back to Spain, to el camino. And I hope that if you see me looking lost and disoriented you might just point me to the right path. As you might guess, my blogs form this trip are not really over yet. I have in my heart certain instances that I want to share with you and some of those lessons that I experienced. I wish you a buen camino because we are all in some journey and we all are seekers in this life.

Peace and Joy. Happy Easter.

It is like running a marathon...

You know whem you have trained for a marathon and you are getting to the end and you think yes,I can make it the training and effort was worth it. Well that is how is how I feel tonight. Like my friend,Barbara, says walking the camino might be like childbirth, after it is over you remember only the good parts. I can see what she means now because now, I only see the good.

Today was a relatively easy day. it was mostly level ground and the weather still cool.We traveled 18 km and it only took us about 6 hours. we got to the hotel early about 3:00 pm , so had time to wash some clothes, rest , and drink a couple of glasses of sidra from the tap.

Still I feel that the magic of el camino is not only in the quiet times where God can speak to your heart, but the people He places in your path. I have met some wonderful people, some crazier people the me, and some real characters that I have formed stories around like I usually do when I do ny training on the beach.

I have lots of stories, but the most important is the change in my heart. I miss you all, I hope to personally shared some of them with you. And I want you to know that as I give Santiago my hug tomorrow, your arms will be around him also, because I carry each of you in my heart.

Buen Camino.

Is it 'Groundhog Day' the movie?

It is the end of day 7 on El Camino and we are about 37 km away from Santiago, traveled about 20 km today. The weather started off cool and cloudy by the end of the day it was very sunny and warm. I had to strip down to my undershirt. I am not sure if it the weariness associated from the long walks but it seems I am a hamster in one of those exercise balls, no matter how far or how slow or fast i go it seems like I am just going in circles, or better yet up and then down and then up again. Today I kept thinking about the parable that Jesus said about the Pharisee and tax collector that both went to the temple to pray. And the Pharisee stood there and his prayer basically was how great he was and how thankful he was that he wasn't like the tax collector. The tax collector on the other hand just knelt face down saying be merciful to me a sinner. Well you know who left justified. For km after km today , i could only repeat Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, be merciful to me, a sinner. It was really revealed to me what a humbling experience it is to be at the total mercy of God. It has been an eye opening experience to see, once again, the greatness of God and the nothingness of man. Got a pamphlet at a church and it was called Do the camino, I open it and it says why look at your past failures? It can only lead to new temptations. God has forgiven you, leave the old man behind. Wild, right?

On a lighter note, the food is still fantastic and the people unbelievable. In the middle of no where today there was a stand with water, coffee, fruit, walnuts, jam cake and chestnuts. I grabhed the chestnuts. Also went to Mass at Arzua and there was an american,Julie, we had met her in Madrid the day we arrived. Also the Spanish guys I have talked about. We are all scheduled to arrive in Santiago on Wednesday. The priest at the Mass called all the pilgrims to the front at the end and gave us the special pilgrim's blessing. It was neat because we all knew each other. Well my friends , it almost midnight and tomorrow is another long day. Buen Camino.