Procrastinator? Or maybe I just don't like change...

On the feast of Santiago, as I prayed I realized that there was no better day to release this blog then today. The picture I took on the beach, and as I pondered on it realized that sometimes we see God and the beauy in our lives as we go through the storms in our lives. So hang on and see the beauty in the storm.

At times in my life, I hesitate and don't jump into situations that, although good for me, require change in my life. Wow, that was a vague statement and not even one that made much sense. I could talk generalities here and confuse you and even myself or I could be specific and possibly scare you and specifically myself. I have decided to speak specifics.

In my trek through northern Spain, I felt that God was saying many things to me ,some I have shared, and some that I even now, hold in my heart and ponder their meaning. One of the things that I shared, at least I think I shared, was the feeling that I would return to Spain and live there and even live there long enough to die there. Mind you, not a morbid thought, just one that I felt deeply in my heart as I walked. So I came back and said ok many years from now , this will happen and I will go. As the weeks have passed, I keep thinking why is it that it should happen many years in the future. None of us are guaranteed a certain time here, so why not act like it is just to be in the future and not so far away. I have started to pray, to contemplate and to think about a move. A move to Spain, a move into the unknown. I am not going to take a blind leap, but I have started my investigation of all that it entails to make that move.

The funny part is that I am at peace with this decision. There are many unknowns still in the equation, many questions unanswered. But I feel that the message coming from God is, He will show me the way, He will provide the answers. Ok I may not be leaving right away, or it might be sooner that I expected. But I know that I have continued the path, the walk that I started in Spain. I am scared because I don't like change, I am excited because I know that I am not alone. You will be with me , in my thoughts in my prayers. If you thought the blogs have been interesting, just imagine when I start writing about my adventures in Spain. And by then they will be bilingual. Ok lets not get carried away. I have not started packing, I have just started to think about what I should throw away. It is funny even my mom out of the blue says, you know if I go to Spain, I might not want to come back....that would eliminate a big obstacle to the move. You know this blog is not done with, so to be continued......

Buen Camino.

Honesty.....really?

I know it has been a while since I wrote but, not that it is an excuse, life sometimes gets in the way. It has now been several months since my trip to Spain, but it still seems to be playing a part in my life and daily decisions that I make. One of the things that I wrote that I had learned or was trying to incorporate into my life was, that I wanted to be an honest man.

I was going to look back to see if I had written about in detail, but since I enjoy the story, and I feel that every time I think of it I get something out of it. I will retell it here. On the sixth or seventh day of our walk, we had reached like a fork on the path. To the left it was clearly marked, up ahead it was not as clear; but this group of kids we had been following were on that path. I stood there trying to decide, what to do, which way to go. As I am standing there, I see one of the adults that was with the kids coming towards us. He says to follow them , that this is a straighter path, that the one to the left curves and makes us cross the highway up ahead. So I thank him and start to walk with him towards the kids on this new path. We are walking and I find out he is one of their teachers. As we walk we keep seeing these fields of a planted crop on either sides of the path. I ask what it is, he tells me he has no idea. The kids are giving me their thoughts on what it could be. So I say in my sarcastic tone, what type of a teacher are you? You don't know what your national crop is? I tell him , if you came to America and you were walking with me,even if I didn't know exactly what it was I would make something up. I would tell you what it was even if I didn't know for sure. His response, I consider myself An Honest Man.

Just think I my ego deflated at that moment. As I still think of it, I justified my response,that Americans exaggerate or blatantly lie when not wanted to face the truth or when we don't want to hurt some one's feelings, a white lie, or if we don't want to face or ignorance on a specific subject. I labeled it Americans, but maybe it was me that was insecure or just a liar.

We parted ways that day and the next day we saw him, now dubbed the honest teacher, and his group of kids as they walked. We chatted and they said they would see us in Santiago. We kept on walking but that honesty issue stayed in the back of my mind. When we got to Santiago, we did see everyone, everyone except that honest teacher. On our last day there, we went to the pilgrim's Mass and I sat in the second row, well I see these teenagers being brought around the altar and I am thinking why can they get up close and here we are further back. The Mass starts and as the priests process in , one of them is the honest teacher. i was blown away, not only was he a honest man, he was a honest priest. I felt foolish with the comments I had made, but wanted to see him after Mass. I tracked him down , and of course he remembered me, the guy that had said all Americans were liars. I gave him the last rosary I had and told him that I would email him so I could send rosaries to the kids. We had exchanged emails, but I thought sure never talk to him again. I did write him weeks after and made the promise of the rosaries again. He now said that he was going to take a group of kids to the World Youth Day in Madrid where there would be an encounter with the Pope. He wanted 50 rosaries. I am happy to say that rosaries were made and delivered to his parish in Spain.

At least this once I was honest, I did keep my word. So if in your dealings with me I might say something upsets you or might seem off, please excuse me my filters are still not completely in place, I might try to be more honest, but still don't know when to just keep my mouth shut.The pictures are of the priest and his group that will travel to see the Pope. And yes I am also trying to be an honest man.

Peace, and Buen Camino.