I, also, wanted it to be different in my heart. To allow Jesus, the babe of Bethlehem, to be manifested in a new and different way in my life. So I prayed. I prayed that I wanted to change. You see if you have followed this blog at all, you might surmised that I have a lot of flaws. So I prayed that I could get rid of all or at least some of these flaws by Christmas. I know God can do all things, even the impossible, so why not make me what I wanted to be, a better person one that would fall into sin less quickly and get out of it far more quickly. I prayed and I prayed. I knew that things could and would be different.
And then it happened. On December 23 as I knelt in prayer at St Gregory's, as I admired how beautiful the church looked for Christmas, as I contemplated our manger and saw the only thing missing was the Christ-child. I heard the voice in my heart. 'Why do you continue to pray as you if you were flawed? Do you not remember that you are created in My image? I do not create anything that is flawed, you are exactly as I want you to be.'
Mind blowing, isn't it? I now understand that some of the things I wanted to get rid of, are the things that make me realized how dependant I truly am on God. I am no better then St Paul that prayed that the thorn on 'his side' might be taken away. My thorn or thorns are part of me. When I battle "my demons"( as society tends to call it now) I realize that through the power and grace of God I will win the battle.
I now realize that I don't necessarily need a physical, mental change; I just need to fight the battle and arm myself with the right spiritual change.
Yes, more is coming....The new year starts tomorrow so a new blog.
